Shadows You Left by Jude Sierra & Taylor Brooke

Author:Jude Sierra & Taylor Brooke
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Gay Romance; LGBT Action & Adventure; New Adult & College Fiction; Contemporary American Fiction; Drama & Play Anthologies; Contemporary Urban Fiction; new adult; romance; contemporary; lgbt; gay; bisexual; grief; death; alcoholism; drug abuse; cage fighting; tattoo artist; Seattle; literary; NA Romance; Entangled Publishing; Dark Romance; Redemption; Entangled; Jude Sierra; Taylor Brooke; Single Title Romance; Literary Romance; One Night Stand; opposites attract; overcoming odds; tortured hero; m/m
Publisher: Entangled Publishing, LLC (Embrace)
Published: 2019-04-22T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty-One

Erik stared at the ceiling and thought about wanting. What it meant. The truth of it. How wanting could turn into a tangible place if he let it. How it made him feel haunted, even now.

River’s voice cut through his thoughts. Just, please, stay.

Erik hadn’t, because he couldn’t. The way River had looked at him, the uncertainty and shock. He’d never wanted River to look at him like that—like he was exactly what he was. A fuck-up. The remnants of a bloody fight. But River had seen him, and Erik hadn’t stayed, and now what was left? He thought of River’s body under his hands, the curve of his smile, and his light, hazy voice when they were tangled in bed. He lifted his hand and looked at the Imugi inked into his skin.

“You missed, asshole,” Erik whispered to himself. “Couldn’t catch a star if it hit you in the face.”

They hadn’t spoken in a week. Not a text. Not a call. When Erik’s phone rang, he scrambled to grab it. Disappointment hung heavy when River’s name wasn’t on the screen.

Erik sighed and answered. “Hi, Ma.”

Sue O’Malley sang on the other end, “Hey, honey. How’s it going up there?”

“Good.” The lie was easy and practiced. “Just working. Enjoying the city. How’s home?”

“Hot,” she said, and laughed. “Too hot for February. Your Dad and I had rooftop reservations for next week and had to change them to indoor. But it’s fine, I’m just glad he remembered this year.”

Erik frowned, trying to put the pieces together. His parents’ anniversary wasn’t until June. Had he missed a birthday?

“I hope you’re doing something fun for Valentine’s Day! You got someone special yet?”

His throat went dry. He opened his mouth, but the words wouldn’t come. Yeah, Mom, I met someone. He’s wonderful. Too good for me. You’d love him. I’m ending it before I mess it up worse. “No,” Erik said, and cleared his throat. “No, it’s just me this year.”

“Oh, baby,” Sue cooed.

His name is River. Erik closed his eyes and chewed on the inside of his cheek. “I gotta go, okay? I’ll call you soon.”

“Please do, honey. I miss hearing your voice. I love you.”

Erik swallowed. “Yeah, love you, too.”

He hung up the phone and slid off the bed.

It wasn’t fair. None of it. He never should’ve let it go this far, let himself get in this deep. He shouldn’t have slept next to River, or dated him, or laughed with him. Erik should’ve stuck with what he did best—quick, easy, meaningless. But he’d held onto River, and it was going to hurt like a bitch to let him go.

He turned off the lights, grabbed his phone, put on his shoes, and glanced at himself in the mirror. His eye was still busted from the fight, but otherwise, countless sleepless nights were what darkened the thin skin under his eyes. Nights he’d spent dwelling and fixating and remembering.

Don’t pretend you know shit about what I think. This isn’t about me, and you know it.

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